In a certain area of my life, I've been spending a lot of time alternating between disappointment and hope. Surprisingly enough, it's not my writing life. A writer should expect to experience quite a bit of these emotions during the pursuit of publication.
What I've learned is that I'm tired of acting like a yo-yo. First I was up and full of hope and then I was down full of disappointment when I hadn't heard from the person who would make the decision that affected me. After too many weeks of this, I made the decision this week that I wouldn't dwell on the hope part. If I didn't have my hopes up, then I didn't suffer the feeling of disappointment. I would just let whatever was going to happen and not dwell on what could be, what I hoped would be.
Yesterday afternoon I finally heard from the person making the decision that would affect me. The outcome wasn't what I was hoping for, what I really wanted to happen, but the strange thing is that I don't really feel all that disappointed. Could it be because I stopped hoping? Or was it because I told myself the decision was taking too long and that meant the outcome wasn't going to be in my favor? Either way, I learned that living up and down alternating from one extreme of emotion to another is no way to live. In the future, I going to do my best to just let go and let whatever happens happen and not dwell on what could happen good or bad when I have no control over a situation.
Unfortunately, I have lived my life this exact way for a few years now. Oddly enough, I don't get as depressed of let down anymore once I've lowered my expectations and remain detached from things. It still hurts when I don't receive the news I'm wishing for, but I handle it much better. Some would say I'm a pessimist, I say, realist.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you did not get the news you hoping for. Don't let that discourage you in the slightest though. If you need any help with anything, please know I'll help you any way I can. Just shoot me an email.
How funny that you say some people would call you a pessimist and you say you are a realist. I do the same thing. My closest friend is always telling me I'm a pessimist and say, no I'm a realist. :o)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the commisseration. I really do appreciate it.