In a certain area of my life, I've been spending a lot of time alternating between disappointment and hope. Surprisingly enough, it's not my writing life. A writer should expect to experience quite a bit of these emotions during the pursuit of publication.
What I've learned is that I'm tired of acting like a yo-yo. First I was up and full of hope and then I was down full of disappointment when I hadn't heard from the person who would make the decision that affected me. After too many weeks of this, I made the decision this week that I wouldn't dwell on the hope part. If I didn't have my hopes up, then I didn't suffer the feeling of disappointment. I would just let whatever was going to happen and not dwell on what could be, what I hoped would be.
Yesterday afternoon I finally heard from the person making the decision that would affect me. The outcome wasn't what I was hoping for, what I really wanted to happen, but the strange thing is that I don't really feel all that disappointed. Could it be because I stopped hoping? Or was it because I told myself the decision was taking too long and that meant the outcome wasn't going to be in my favor? Either way, I learned that living up and down alternating from one extreme of emotion to another is no way to live. In the future, I going to do my best to just let go and let whatever happens happen and not dwell on what could happen good or bad when I have no control over a situation.