Changes

I've always thought I was pretty adaptable when it came to making changes. In recent days I've realized that maybe I'm not so good at it. Making changes is hard.

Things have been occurring in the last couple of  months that I've been trying to deal with. At the end of most days, I feel like I've spent the day dragged down and mired in mental quicksand. That I'm not really dealing with the issues but doing all I can just to keep my head above water, only to have wave after wave crash over my head, leaving me gasping for air and looking for something, anything to cling to. I'm not sleeping at night, only managing at most 4 hours of sleep which leaves me fighting to get through the next day. Some days I feel like I'm polishing the brass on the Titanic - a useless and futile task that's pointless.

All of this leaves me feeling exhausted. I'm tired of not being able to stop my thoughts from racing when I should be sleeping. I'm tired of feeling like some of the issues are things I can't control, I'm tired of the whims of others, and I'm tired of being tired.

So what can I do?  I'm making changes. Changes to the things I can control. Some of those changes will be easy, almost as easy as breathing. Some of them will be hard. Some may cost me friendships and some of them will seem almost impossible but I'm determined to follow through with them no matter how difficult it may be.  Why?  Because I've learned something that I should have known all along -- that I deserve to be happy.

This I know for sure...

Sometimes when you wish for something to change and then it does, that change isn't always for the better and in the end things haven't really changed at all.  The circumstances may be slightly different, but the situation is largely the same. For example, a difficult co-worker gives notice that they are leaving and ends up training the new person and spreading lies and such to the new person thereby poisoning the new person's perspective before they get a chance to form their own impressions.

When I'm wishing for a change, I want a true change, not an exchange of one set of circumstances or another set so closely similar to the original scenerio that there might as well be no change to begin with.

Happy Memorial Day

As you celebrate, please remember the members of our military 

who have given their lives so we can have the freedoms 

we enjoy and lives we live today.

Happy Memorial Day!

This I know for sure...

As a child I was always told to treat people the way I would want to be treated.  It's a rule I still live by today. Unfortunately, it seems in today's society, people don't always do the same thing. Either it was something they were never taught or think that now they're an adult that rule no longer applies, especially in the workplace.

Unfortunately, some workplaces foster the competitive, dog eat dog, mentality among their staff. While my office isn't one of those environments, we do have a couple of people who don't hesitate to undermine others to make themselves look better. At those times, I want to say to them, "remember what you put out into the universe comes back to you." Some people call it karma and we all know the old adage about karma, that it can be a b*tch. 

An Unusual Research Fact

I'm visiting Crimson Romance and Wild Rose Press author Stephanie Cage today. Come find out a surprising fact I learned about a vicar while doing research for my current release.  Link: http://stephaniecagewriter.blogspot.com/2013/05/writer-wednesday-interview-katherine.html

Spring Planting

A couple of weeks ago, my 11 year old nephew and I planted some old flower seeds in starter pots. Being as the seeds were at least a year old, I warned him there was a chance nothing would grow. He checks the pots daily, watering them when they need it, and moving the pots around the porch to ensure they get sun. Surprisingly enough they are growing, flourishing even. Today we'll be planting them in bigger pots and I'm hoping we'll be transplanting them into the front yard in front of the rose bush in a few weeks when I know they'll be strong enough to withstand the summer rain storms we get every year.

 I'm known for not having much of a green thumb, in fact my family teases me that I have a black thumb because I even managed to kill a cactus plant in the past which needed practically no watering or attention. My nephew seems to enjoy watching the minute changes in the plants as each day passes so I've put him in charge of their care. As I watch him nurture the seedlings, it reminds me that he too has had to overcome adversity and with love and attention he is also thriving.